Undoubtedly when I finally decided on this 31 day series, I knew deep down the challenge to be real here would become very personal for me.
Last night I was reading after I put the kiddos to bed, and during that time I came across this post by Edie, When the Truth Comes Out. This lady, she has most definitely been through quite the faith walk herself. Her story is a huge testament to God’s unrelenting love for His children. And as I read her post about truth and what she writes, I knew my own truths were bubbling up to the surface.
Edie writes, “When you say, I’m not okay, you open up a river of life, making possible a pathway for healing.”
You see, I don’t write about the struggles I am currently facing for the most part, on purpose. I fear that as I process and walk through some of these dark places with my Lord, that somehow I might misrepresent Him or discourage those of you who don’t follow His way just yet. And my heart is never, ever to discourage or mislead you. But in my holding back of these stories, I think there is a big hole. A gap that needs to be connected to the rest of the story. That would be real. And, isn’t that why we’re here this month?
So the truth is, we’ve been going through a massive season of challenge pretty much from every angle. We left one ministry at God’s leading and obvious doors closing to join a team to begin a new work in a new state. Jobs have fallen through. More doors have slammed shut, than have cracked open even a bit. Sicknesses in check have re-emerged. Supplies have been low and expenses continue to be great. And right now, we simply don’t know how God will work it all out.
We have wondered many things in the midst of all this. We are constantly repeating God’s promises back to Him and praying for His direction. All the while, we work and struggle. And struggle and work. We’ve felt blessed to work with two different bands in the span of these four and a half months and share the passion to worship God in spirit and truth. But the day to day has been hard.
The day to day has looked like working two jobs, seven days straight. No Sabbath. No rest. No family time and not even enough money to make ends meet. It doesn’t make sense right now. But we continue to trust, fighting the enemy and praying the peace that passes all understanding keeps our hearts every. single. minute. Because that’s all we can do.
We’ve committed to follow Christ no matter what, we know He supplies our needs according to His riches. But the how and why and when often remain mysteries to us. That’s just the plain ugly truth. No sparkles, fireworks or angelic music chiming. Sounds super spiritual right?
We feel a bit like the torn up exit just down the street.
It’s messy and dirty.
It’s a headache.
It’s makes commute times frustrating. It seems endless.
But once it’s finished, those who pass by will never see what we’re seeing right now, every day. It will be crisp, clean concrete. A functioning bridge free of clutter, and equipment. No trace of the nightmare everyone else has endured for months and months during this construction period. Even the secondary issues this zone has caused will be old news. Countless fender-benders. People arriving late for appointments which set off other proverbial dominoes.
All the work done, will be hidden under the new. And this too shall pass we say. Whether we’re in a growing period or just being allowed to experience the fire yet again, the outcome is His. The memories of the fire will belong to us and maybe to those watching right now. But beyond that, things will move on and what consumes the daily right now, will fade away.
This is my truth today.
And the promises I cling to, can be shared. What is your truth today?
I’ll share my lifeline with you, grab hold. It’s strong enough to hold us both.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
“And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19
“I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.” John 16:33